


Can we get an F in the chat for Felix's (404 error genitals not found)

by Safraninflare



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-18
Updated: 2020-05-18
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:40:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24255253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Safraninflare/pseuds/Safraninflare
Summary: As a result of filling too many horny prompts, Felix is now hospitalized and unable to get out of bed. Various characters visit to pay respects to him and his Schrödinger's genitals. Sylvain probably just brought a giant F.Fill for the 3h Kink Meme
Relationships: Annette Fantine Dominic/Felix Hugo Fraldarius, Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Felix Hugo Fraldarius, Felix Hugo Fraldarius/Mercedes von Martritz, Felix Hugo Fraldarius/Sylvain Jose Gautier
Comments: 26
Kudos: 52





	Can we get an F in the chat for Felix's (404 error genitals not found)

“Mercedes!” Ashe shouted as he rushed into the infirmary. “It’s Felix.”

Mercedes wrung her hands on a towel, stress already furrowing her brow. Of course it was Felix. Why  _ wouldn’t _ it be Felix. It was  _ Always. Felix. _ She thought she had explained to him that if he wasn’t careful, he’d prolapse. 

_ What _ he would prolapse, she wasn’t quite sure, considering every time she had to heal him it seemed like there was something else going on down there. But, Mercedes von Martritz didn’t consider herself a nosy person. The Goddess created them all in her image, and if her image was… Whatever Felix had going on between his legs, she would support him.

That was when Annette arrived, Felix draped over her shoulder as they stumbled into the room. “It’s bad, Mercie.” 

Well, Mercedes could tell, just from the look of pure agony (or was that pleasure?) on Felix’s face as they laid him down in one of the beds.

“What is it this time?” Mercedes asked.

“Well, I was pegging him, like they asked,” Annette began, “and everything was fine, until Sylvain arrived and said he was supposed to be choking him?”

“Choking him? And where’s Sylvain?” 

“Probably getting pounded by Dimitri. They’re supposed to do seven days of sex, or something, I didn’t pay much attention.” Annette explained. “Can you fix him?”

Mercedes had never backed down from a challenge in her life, but this? Felix had been fucked every which way, in every hole, and some that she didn’t know even existed, even  _ after _ Manuela drew diagrams. 

“He’s going to have to stay for at least a week,” Mercie decided. “Please tell Ashe to inform the Sex Bandits that they can’t have him until I give the all clear.”

“What? A moratorium on Felix requests? But he’s the most popular of us all!” Annette protested. Her eyes were wide, and she must have been very loud, because Ashe popped his head in again.

“It’s the boots. His boots say  _ whore _ . Also, people really love the tsundere angle, and then there’s the—” 

“Okay, that’s enough. Everyone, out.” Mercedes pinched the bridge of her nose, turning towards the unconscious Felix, hoping to the Goddess that she could do something to stop this madness. 

_ One week later _ .

“Hey, Mercie?” Sylvain asked as he poked his head into the infirmary, carrying a large bouquet of flowers with a sign that read  _ “Sorry about your prolapse” _ in the middle of delicate roses. “Is Felix ready? Dimitri and I just finished up, and apparently I’m supposed to put my dick down Felix’s throat until he cries today.”

“Bit busy!” Mercedes called.

Sylvain placed the vase of flowers down and stepped around the curtain, only to find that it was now  _ Mercedes _ pegging Felix. 

“Oh, you’re so good, Felix. You take me so well!” she mused, her bright purple ye old strap on inside of Felix. “Sylvain, I’m afraid you’ll have to wait.”

Poor Felix. 

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry about your prolapse....
> 
> Felix is his own episode of "sex sent me to the ER."


End file.
